i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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