Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
