fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Four minutes until I can fart!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
