can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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