and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize