I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
