Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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