I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
