direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize