What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
