If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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