Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
