I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am available for nakedness
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize