I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
