And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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