he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
