I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
