I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
