I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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