You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
