piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All the doctor said was why
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
