Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
