no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
