the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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