i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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