Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
