Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
