He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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