dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think my fart just growled at me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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