if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
