Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
