Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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