only you would photoshop your dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
