Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
