I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
