thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Shame - the story of my life.
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