its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you will always have a special place in my vag
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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