my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
