Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone came in the potted fern
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
