Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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