you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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