dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
