i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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