You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't put those talents on a resume
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
