Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
