Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's never too late to be topless.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
