very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
