Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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