i think my mom watched the whole time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
