Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
