Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
