So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
