im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
