i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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