fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
