Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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