Whod you bang
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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