No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
