I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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