My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Randomize