The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
