it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
