Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
