Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
