I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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