I'm eating all of the evidence.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
