Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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