His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
BRING THE BAGELS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
