I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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