How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize