where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
