I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
