When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
