i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
