What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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